A couple of years ago, Kimberly Iverson, a blogger for The Gospel Coalition, wrote a piece called “Mirror, Mirror in My Kid—Reflecting All I Said and Did.” This insightful little piece talked about how our children often show us what is truly in our heart and behavior. In fact, the whole process of parenting seems to be a giant exercise in revealing the glaring flaws in our personal character, patience, and godliness.
Think about your own parenting experience. Those initial infant months test the limits of your patience and show you what sacrificial giving and love is all about. Then come the toddler years where walking, talking, and attitude come into play. Melissa and I are in this stage and are beginning to see how Brady and Noah already display a sinful, rebellious spirit. And yet, we also recognize that this spirit is so often a reflection of our own attitudes and actions. Even when we are setting the proper example, we find that we remember doing those same things when we were little and displaying that same rebelliousness. And so Mrs. Iverson’s point is that our kids are the reflection of all that we said and did.
But as I thought of this concept a bit more, I found that it is probably even broader than the parent-child relationship. Perhaps the reflection of “all that we say and do” is not merely limited to our children but extends to all of those that we significantly influence in our lives. I know this to be the case in my own home and not just with my children. If I come home with a sour attitude or an angry disposition, this sets the tone for the entire evening with Melissa that often results in conflict, hurt, and sin. However, if I come home and ask how her day was and seek to care for and lead my family towards service to one another and the Lord, then it sets a tone that results in love, care, and peace. My actions and attitudes lead Melissa and the rest of my family in a particular path. In other words, they reflect my leadership towards either a sinful path or a holy one.
This is the case all around us, whether at home, work, church, or any other venue where we carry influence. People reflect what we show them. Of course, this does not clear each person of their personal responsibility for their own actions. However, the principle still remains that we tend to act like those we hang around, and those who hang around us tend to reflect our example. This presents two challenges for us. First, we should look to those around us and consider how their actions might be a reflection of our influence. Are we setting the right kind of example? As Paul exhorts Timothy: are we providing an example in “speech, conduct, love, faith and purity”? If not, then let us repent in humility and offer a better example. Second, we need to be under proper influences ourselves. We should find godly influences in the community of believers and most importantly in the character of the Lord Himself. Consider these passages on our primary example in godly living.
Hebrews 12:1–3 (NASB): 1Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
1 John 2:3–6 (NASB): By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.
